Caffeine Overdose

Caffeine Overdose

You had me in a moment, with this thing that you call "love"

I was dizzy with excitement, naïve and silly

Like an infant enjoying her first taste of caffeine

Intoxicated I believed you, for the first time

Living in a world of reciprocated emotion

Every song was mine, every lyric penned by my own hand

Prufrock had my pity, and Wordsworth was my brother,

But the only words worth my time were yours

Spoken in clichés, you indulged my tendency

For idealism, worthless in a world where stomachs swell,

And the living dead roam, automated, oiled regularly by reality

The only one to know me inside out, I gave in

To the brighter colours, warmer days, grass that smelt

Of joyous worms rejoicing, insects smiled

As I avoided mass murder with a wary step

And cupped them up, embraced them

But they stung me with their acid kiss.

I live to learn, I learn to live.

But Calculus is easier on the heart, and Eliot

Can move me without crisply crunching me

Crunching me beneath his feet to smithereens,

Like the last brown leaf of Indian winter.

I fell from the tree and you picked me up,

I thought I was saved when you savoured me

Traced my green veins and breathed in my essence,

But you left me to dehydrate, wither, and tremble

As trade winds picked up my wisps and blew them

Hither and thither.

When the cup has been drained and lies broken on the floor,

The infant cries for more, although every sip is poison.

To You.

How many tears does it take before I’m all dried up?

In the sunlight pretty plants just shrivel up.

Veins of green and darker ones, they symbolise,

The ones I long to slash and tear, and escape lies

You laugh and wait to see if I’ll abandon him

But nothing can make me give in to this one sin.

Put me through the greatest fire, try and try,

I’ll douse it out with all the tears you make me cry,

Smells of flowers choke me, carried by the wind,

The rain falls down like acid burning on my skin,

Everything is upside down, the wrong is right,

I search for sun, but every day resembles night

A black dog strides incessantly along my way

I beat it with a stick and kick it, still it stays.

I close my eyes but sleep is filled with empty places,

People who walk by me, smile with empty faces

Hope’s the substance that was in an empty cup,

And when I think I’ve found it

I wake up.